It’s Not Always About “You”

A subtle shift in mindset can do so many wonders. For the majority of my adolescence into adulthood, I’ve been someone whose thoughts automatically gravitated towards thinking circumstances were conspiring against me. Why is this happening to me? What does this mean for me? Why do things never work in my favour?

And maybe you’re like this too, but have you ever stopped to think what if things are working in your favour and protecting you? It’s only when I shifted my perspective and entertained this train of thought that I felt silly for not thinking about this sooner.

Pronoia or Paranoia? Discerning the difference between the two

I must have been googling something (as usual) and saw the word pronoia appear. I’d never heard of it or seen it before, but once I learned more about it, it made so much sense! In Wikipedia it states, “Pronoia is a neologism coined to describe a state of mind that is the opposite of paranoia. Whereas a person suffering from paranoia feels that persons or entities are conspiring against them, a person experiencing pronoia feels that the world around them conspires to do them good.”

Learning about pronoia reminded me of a conversation I had with a friend recently where she placed a lot of importance on becoming more firm. What she defined as firm was the ability to be absolute or confident regarding the decisions she made. In other words, being firm meant trusting the decisions she made in life and being okay with not being in control, not because she was powerless, but because she trusted her life journey.

Applying the definition of pronoia in my life has improved my feelings towards circumstances that can be seen as “misfortunate”. For example, imagine running late for an appointment, then getting stuck in traffic, and realizing you forgot to bring your wallet. That can be easily be looked at as a bad day since misfortunate things happened one after the other. However, using the idea of pronoia, you can look at those same series of events and reason that if you weren’t late, you wouldn’t have had a conversation with that dope Uber driver who ended up giving you the solution to a problem you’ve had.

It’s not always about you or what you did or didn’t do

Another more practical example is let’s say you applied to a job that suited your qualifications. You land an interview which goes great but, they decide ahead with another candidate. You didn’t do anything wrong in that case. You were prepared, qualified, you had an amazing interview yet for whatever reason you weren’t chosen. It doesn’t mean you were the cause, they could have already decided on another candidate. By looking at it under a pronoia lens, you later realize that you weren’t supposed to get that job because there was a better position at another company with room to grow, is close to home, and offers a higher pay grade.

In short, everything happens for a reason. It’s not always about you or what you did or didn’t do. Shifting your focus away from, “Why is this happening to me?” into “What else in store for me?” is an easy way to decrease stress and apply a positive outlook. It isn’t always going to be easy to think this way but in my case, I realized that once I started thinking like this, life became easier.

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What are the mysterious ways the universe has come through for you?